


You Were Beautiful

by LunarLaser



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Crying, Ghosts, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 10:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18150962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarLaser/pseuds/LunarLaser
Summary: Veronica visits JD's grave as she is racked with guilt and thinks about what she could have done.





	You Were Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> I've already done a DEH and BMC fic so might as well complete the trinity of angsty teens in blue musicals. I know I'm late in writing Heather's fics bc it's prime was about a year ago but I think it's starting to come back. Enjoy nonetheless!

Veronica stood there at the entrance of the cemetery, daisies in hand. She used to not feel dread here as other people did. She always thought it gave off a calm and serene vibe. Like nothing in the world could disturb what was inside. She guessed that was before… when she was naive. Now she understood what these cemeteries held. They held lives that were lost and taken, broken and lost dreams, sins that were never forgiven. She realized that when they lowered JD down into the ground. She was hardly able to attend because it reminded her of all she had done. The people she had put in here. She could almost smell Ram’s blood as she walked in. She was snapped back into reality by a raindrop tapping her on the nose. She looked up as another hit her on the forehead. She pulled out her blue umbrella and opened it.

“Decided to be poetic today, huh?” She asked still looking up. She continued on knowing exactly where to go. After a couple of minutes, she found JD’s grave. Sadly, since she couldn't just let the bomb under the bleachers stay there, Veronica had told the police about JD’s plan so they could be removed. She told a story of half-truths but didn't connect the deaths of her other classmates to them. Word then got out of course and people didn't feel as sympathetic towards JD as Heather, Kurt, and Ram. This was apparent by the graffiti on his tombstone that read ‘psychopath’ and ‘freak’ in different colored paint. Veronica sighed and crouched down to clean off the paint as she did every week. She then put the daisies on his grave. 

“Y’know,” she started, “daisies represent purity. Even though a lot could fairly argue that you weren't pure, I think they suit you.” She sat down not caring if her skirt got wet from the rain. She stared at the words JD on the tombstone. She looked down knowing that he was only six feet away. This has probably been the fourth time she’s visited since his funeral. She’d been shoving the memories away and trying to move in with her life, but everything reminded her of him. Even the damned 7-Eleven.

“I sent my application into Harvard this morning,” she said, “Can't wait to amass mountains of debt for a piece of paper. That sounds like something you would say.” She chuckled to herself. “You’re never going to get to graduate,” she continued, “You’re never going to get to graduate, got to college, and leave your dad behind. Start a new life with… me.” A tear ran down her face as the mention of JD’s dad triggered the memory of his funeral.

The few people who came had left and now there were only two figures around the grave: Veronica and JD’s father. Bud Dean was standing there smoking a cigarette. After noticing Veronica, he turned to her. “You really loved him, didn't you?” Veronica was taken aback by this. She nodded slowly. He took a long drag and threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. “Well, at least someone did,” he said. Veronica looked at him wide-eyed and in disbelief. She was livid.

“How could you say that?” she asked shakily. “What the fuck is wrong with you? He was your son.” He gave a cold laugh. “He stopped being my son a long time ago,” he said, “we both agreed on that.” Veronica stood there in silence. “Also,” he started, “how are you going to ask what the fuck is wrong with me when he was the one who tried to murder you and your entire school?” Veronica took a step forward.

“I know what was wrong with him,” she said, “he had a father who didn't give a damn about his well being. Not about what he was feeling, not about how he thought, and not about his happiness.” Veronica saw that his hand was shaking. “I gave that boy a place to live!” he yelled, “it’s not my fault he decided to spend his free time trying to plan mass homicide.” Veronica scowled. “Good job,” she said, “maybe you should get bonus points for not beating the shit out of him every night with a flaming whip. Oh wait, you don't. Maybe after your entire family kills themselves to get away from you, you should evaluate yourself!” He took a step forward as well but Veronica didn't step back. “I didn't make him a psychopath! He didn't get the fucking crazy gene from me. He got that from his mother! The only thing he got from me was the explosives…” He choked a bit. He fell in his knees.

“I killed them…” he said softly. “I drove them to kill themselves. With my own explosives. Guess that’s what I deserved.” Veronica’s rage subsided as she saw the broken man. She slowly walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him. “That’s... I’m sorry. You couldn't have known what JD was thinking or what he was capable of. Even if any of this is your fault, you're obviously paying for it. C’mon, get up.” She grabbed him by the elbows and lifted him up. “JD was messed up. It was probably a bunch of things none of us could figure out.” He nodded with a blank look on his face. She hooked her arm around him and turned him around to look at JD’s grave. “Anything to say?” she asked. A tear ran down his face. “I lied,” he said, “I always loved you. And your mother. I was always just… too scared to reach you. We were both just in a bad situation. We were both victims…”

“Victims,” the word echoed in Veronica’s mind as she is back to the present staring at JD’s grave and the rain starts to come down a little harder. “You were just a victim in all this. You didn't deserve to die. None of them did. They could have been better. Heather was such a bitch but there was no telling what she was thinking. It’s possible some of what I wrote rang true. Kurt and Ram… they were just a couple of dumb horny boys. Ram actually liked Martha once. He used to be pure and did what he wanted. But society warped him and Kurt. Told them how they should be and who they should say. Maybe if Ram would have given her a chance, she could have brought out another side in him. Kurt would have followed suit. They didn't deserve to die so scared and defenseless in such a humiliating way. The only one who deserves to die is me. I caused all this. I could have stopped you at any time or tried to talk to you about why you were like this. But I loved the rush you gave me. And I go and act all high and might when I can't even turn myself in. I'm just as guilty as you are if not more. JD, I will always love you.” She sobbed as she bent over with her face in her hands.

“JD,” she started, “Heather, Kurt, Ram. I'm sorry. So sorry.” Then she heard the voice. “Then you should kill yourself.” Veronica looks up and saw JD standing behind the tombstone. A bullet hole in his stomach and his clothes looked burned. However, his skin looked pale. “If you love me and think you're responsible, just join me, Veronica.” She heard a voice behind her. “I mean deep down you knew you're were giving me the poison, right?” It was Heather still in her bathrobe with a blue fluid around her mouth. “I was going to ruin your high school life that obviously deserved me dying in one of the most painful ways possible.” Veronica shot up and backed away from them only to bump into something sturdy. “How can you say we’re jerks when you set you're own best friend up to be embarrassed?” There were Kurt and Ram there in their undies with bleeding gunshot holes. Veronica blinked and the four of them were in front of her. 

She fell on the ground at the sight of them. They walked closer. “Just get what you deserve and die. Die. Die. Die.” They all said in unison. Veronica held her hands over her ears and closed her eyes. “No! Stop! Go away! I thought I got rid of you all.” She was shivering and the ghost repeated her name. “Veronica. Veronica. Veronica!”

“Veronica?” She heard behind her with a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Martha, Duke, and McNamara behind her and they all looked worried. Even Duke who rarely showed more than three emotions. She wasn't crazy about still hanging out with Veronica or Martha but McNamara talked her into it. That and the fact she really had no friends left. They each held an umbrella. “Are you okay?” Martha asked slowly. “We were in town shopping and we know you said you had somewhere to be today, but…” Martha looked at JD’s tombstone. “I didn't think it would be here.”

McNamara spoke up. “I know you really liked him a lot even though we thought he was you know, but this isn't good.” Veronica slowly nodded. After a moment of silence, Veronica felt the rain stop hitting her. She looked up to see Duke holding her green umbrella over her. She bent down to pick her up by the elbow and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get those clothes dried off,” she said, “Can't believe we bought you that expensive a skirt for you to ruin it. Guess we’ll have to go help you buy a new one because in case you don't remember, you're a fashion disaster.” Duke smiled at Veronica. This was her being genuinely nice. “Yeah, let’s go. I also need some coffee.”

As they left the cemetery, the rain slowed and came to a stop. Within seconds Veronica felt the sun hit her face. She was standing again at the entrance. She looked up. “You are just on the ball with symbolic weather, aren't ya?” She laughed to herself as she looked into the cemetery one last time and she saw JD again. This time he looked different. He looked like he did when they first meant. But somehow brighter. He pointed to his head and Veronica saw some light above him where it almost looked like a halo. He gave a small smirk and stuck his tongue out a bit. Veronica smiled then gave a small wave. He waved back. “Veronica,” she heard McNamara call, “you coming?” She looked at them then back at the cemetery. JD was gone. She looked at the girls. “Yeah,” she replied, “just saying goodbye. To a beautiful soul.”

**Author's Note:**

> Again I did a one-off DEH fic about Jared and Evan (not romantic but you can use it for ship material) and a ten-part expensive headphones fic. Thanks for reading!


End file.
